Sex is a lot like a race, but not in the way that you might initially think.
You’re not a participant trying to cross the finish line as fast as you can – you’re in the audience. Watching your favorite athlete in a sprint is exciting, but it’s over in the blink of an eye.
On the contrary, a marathon takes so long that it becomes boring after a while.
Like a good race, good sex tends to fall in between these two extremes
– short enough so that your partner doesn’t fall asleep underneath you, but long enough that she’s actually able to orgasm.
So what do you do when you don’t have the stamina to last longer than a minute or two in bed?
First, it might be nice to know that you’re not alone.
Premature ejaculation, or PE, is actually a really common problem, even more common than erectile dysfunction, or ED.
The most common cause is plain inexperience – you’re with someone for the first time and don’t know how to control your orgasm. In that case, the fix is easy – practice, practice, practice. But what do you do when PE persists, even with a long-term partner?
The Benefits of Orgasm Control
It’s a well-known fact that women take longer to reach orgasm than men.
While you might get there in 2 minutes, the average woman takes 20 minutes to climax during intercourse.
Men who are better able to control themselves have a better chance of giving their partner the orgasm they deserve.
But orgasm control can do more than just help you last longer in bed – it can also make your orgasms more intense and your erections firmer.
Mind over Matter
A popular belief is that you can use sheer willpower alone to keep yourself from orgasming too early. If you think about something extremely unsexy, like math, baseball, or how to change a tire, you might be able to suppress that 60-second orgasm.
If multiplying 12 by 18 in your head mid-intercourse works for you, great! But if you’d rather focus on the woman that you’re sleeping with instead of solving math problems, keep reading for some alternative solutions.
Masturbate Before You Have Sex
An easy and enjoyable way to give yourself some extra stamina in the bedroom is to masturbate beforehand.
If you’ve ever masturbated multiple times in one day, you’ve probably noticed it takes you a bit longer to ejaculate each time – while a woman is obviously a bit different than your hand, the same principle still applies.
Keep in mind that it will probably take some trial and error to get the timing down.
For example, you might find that masturbating only 30 minutes before sex leaves you lasting longer than you or your partner would like.
For most men, the sweet spot is between one and two hours before having sex.
Make Your Partner Orgasm First
You see it in movies all the time – the guy finishes, and immediately falls asleep, leaving the woman frustrated and orgasm-less.
This is due to the hormone prolactin, a brain chemical released when a man ejaculates.
Don’t want to be “that guy” and finish before your partner every time?
Just get her off first – it’s really that simple.
Premature ejaculation is both a physical and a mental problem, with anxiety being one of the leading causes.
So if you’re suffering from performance anxiety because you’re worried you won’t be able to make your partner orgasm, you can take some of the stress out of the equation by getting her off first using something other than your penis.
Not only will your partner be happy, but hopefully some of your anxiety will be eased, allowing you to relax and enjoy longer lasting sex.
Use Thicker Condoms
Too much stimulation is a common cause of early climax, so you can lessen the sensation by buying thicker condoms.
In addition to helping you last longer in bed, thick condoms are also less likely to break and better able to prevent unwanted pregnancy and the transmission of STDs. It’s a win-win!
Edging and Squeezing
Edging has become somewhat of a trend in recent years, but what is it exactly, and how can it help you last longer in bed?
As the name suggests, “edging” is the practice of masturbating right up to the “edge” of an orgasm, and then abruptly stopping all stimulation.
Once you’ve calmed down enough, start stimulating your penis again. This method of edging is appropriately referred to as “stop-and-start”.
Squeezing is another type of edging.
Instead of stopping stimulation altogether when you feel you’re about to climax, have you or your partner squeeze just below the head of your penis for about 15 seconds, or until the sensation has subsided (but your penis is still erect).
Then, just like the start-and-stop method, rinse and repeat until you’re ready to orgasm.
Edging techniques can either be done while masturbating as a way to practice orgasm control or during sex to prolong intercourse.
If you’re using masturbation to practice edging, be mindful of the fact that a hand and a woman provide two very different sensations – mastering orgasm control with your hand does not guarantee you’ll be able to do the same during intercourse.
That’s why it’s important to make masturbation as close to the real deal as possible, which you can do using a fleshlight, some warm oil, and going at the same pace you would during sex.
If all of this talk of edging and squeezing seems silly to you, you should know that this method is actually commonly recommended by sex therapists for men struggling with PE as an effective way to increase their stamina in bed! Plus, it’s completely safe, so there’s no harm in trying.
Don’t Put Up With PE Any Longer
You don’t have to be the guy that women refer to as the “one-minute man” or “one pump chump” – premature ejaculation isn’t an incurable curse, and you’ll find that to be true once you give the above methods a try.
Once you find out what works best for you, you can start enjoying sex the way it was meant to be – relaxed, euphoric, and pleasurable
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